If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
