dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Every concussion has its silver lining
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
