I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
