no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My balls are so social today.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
