I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
