also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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