uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
