coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
