need another drink. this is the easiest way
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
