Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
