We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
