She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
