You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize