I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize