i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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