I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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