Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
