Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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