What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
barbara walters just said penis...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm too high and old for this...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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