Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize