Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
