well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
