i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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