There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
