It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
