Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
