she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
