I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
