WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
