Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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