maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
