youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
