Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
love makes seman taste better
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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