There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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