she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my shit smells like andre
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize