I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
