"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
