Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
