I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize