is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize