Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it hurts more in the daytime
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
