Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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