she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
