I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
