this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
