I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize