Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
