i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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