this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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