when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
