i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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