Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
