chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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