My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
