so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
